:://i need help with the last line, and a title? also, what do you think this is about, what is the story being told here?

The young girl awoke from her dreams
of interstellar rings, in starry eyed surprise.
Questioning the quiet in whispered moonsong,
to children racing their hands along
the never ending walls of her new home
leaving trails of soul dust communicating
once familiar, uncomprehending beauty.

And there wasn’t light so much as a
great weightlessness, an angelic breath,
a stirring between the shoulders where
the soft buds of iridescent feathers
began to flutter and waken.

The boy beside remembered to cry,
to write and to dream and to marvel,
to smile at the smile of her silent goodbye,
feeling her rise as an angel.


version one:
The young girl awoke from dreams
of interstellar rings and star mushrooms,
quiet things that whispered moonsongs
to children racing their hands along walls
leaving trails of soul dust and beauty.

And there wasn’t light so much as a
great weightlessness, an angelic breath,
a stirring between the shoulders where
the soft buds of iridescent feathers
began to flutter and waken.

The boy beside remembered to cry,
to write and to dream and to marvel,
to smile at the smile of her silent goodbye,
for at last there was life with a shadow.

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3 thoughts on “

  1. Intersting…I like this sort of poem, where you reread it and each time you do, a new layer comes up, a new meaning, a new way of understanding it. I love the flow too, the ends of each line connect with the beginnings of the next…makes for a good rhythmic flow.”And there wasn’t light so much as agreat weightlessness, an angelic breath”I especially liked that part. Good work, not one of your best, but a good piece.

    Like

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