I was talking to a friend today who has been at college for a few nights now. She’s Asian and more than likely, it’s safe to say that her parents have been at least moderately stifling in terms of her freedom, the way all Asian parents tend to be. So she should be experiencing a complete free for all, right? Partying it up, drinking, staying out till the sunrise, in short: having fun!

She hasn’t been to a party yet. And she’s not too terribly keen on going anytime soon either. She’s having a phenomenal time @ college in her own way, meeting tons of new people and hanging out while watching movies and just getting to know each other. It’s not that she’s strait laced, she doesn’t turn tail and run from the idea of partying… her response falls more along the lines of “meh”. They aren’t essential or mandatory to her life.

When did partying or having “fun” become synonymous with getting trashed, and if you’re really having a good night… getting trashed and getting “lucky”? I have nothing against either of those indulgences, in fact, I indulge frequently and with gusto but…I just wonder, sometimes, how many people are just convinving themselves that those are the “best” ways to have fun?

How many people make themselves enjoy that sort of lifestyle, just because they feel like they should or they feel they have to? How many people might actually have a more enjoyable evening sitting around a coffee shop having an actual conversation with someone or going to hear a good concert instead?

Admittedly, not everyone falls into the above categories. But, isn’t it at least possible that there’s a small contingent of people who might have fun that way…but are just too afraid to actually acknowledge that? After all, with so many different personalities and interests represented in various people…it doesn’t make sense that we all find joy in doing the same activities.

Sometimes I feel like we measure a good time by the amount of reckless abandon we can muster. The bigger the keg, the louder the music, the drunker we get, the worse the hangover, the less we remember, and the random-er the hookup … the more valid the proof that we are having f-u-n baaaabbby. Right?

But is fun really something we should have to prove?

PS: if you can hear the song… listen for a second.


6 thoughts on “

  1. Wow, I agree entirely. that’s what making me a bit *ugh* about the whole uni thing. I did the whole “yay drinking till I’m sick is fun” and discovered that no, it’s not. Yay for 18 drinking in the UK that lets you discover that by the time you’re 16/17. Hopefully neither you nor I will be stuck with people who are still in this phase.
    Ps. Northwestern is so the best. They have us. *snerk* :laugh:


  2. Good thinking.  I totally agree.  I wish I could meet someone here who would go sit and talk with me over coffee.  I would rather have caffeine coursing through my body while I engage in intellectual convo than get trashed and talk about shit I won’t even remember.  Parties don’t suck, and I suppose going to a few is simply an aspect of the quintessential college experience, but they aren’t thrilling either. And after awhile, I can’t even see how they’d be that fun anymore.  Hmm…I guess I’m fucked up.  I want to talk to you sometime soon. 


  3. I am Asian…and I can say that pretty much Asians can be a bit on the “conservative” side. The cultures we encounter on the other side of the world can be at times overwhelming, at times exciting…but it is an entirely new world for us. There are only quite a few Asian families…usually ones that are “well off” and who travel a lot…who are, should we say, “westernized”.
    Your friend is probably “enjoying” the “western” culture…she probably is wreckless at this point because everything is entirely new to her. And it is indeed sad that there are young people (even here in Asia) who think that having “fun” is about drinking, partying…all that stuff.
    You’re right…it is sad that a lot of people misconstrue what having fun really is…then again, one has to pass that stage of “reckless abandon” to learn that having fun ain’t exactly that.
    – 1 9 2 🙂


  4. this has nothing 2 do with ur xanga, just a personal tidbit for ur entertainment.. i met a guy u would love serena.. used to play sports until he broke his collar bone, #4 in his class, prez of national honor society, treasurer of student council…and majoring in aerospace engineering at u of i… plus, hes about 6 2 and gorgeous…lol


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