i forget to breathe sometimes. it’s as if there’s too much to say, too much to do, too many things to expend my energy upon…that i can’t fathom slowing down.
college moves so quickly, there’s always a million things to do, a million people to meet and so on and so forth. i’m so used to living my life with a specific, rapidly approaching deadline threatening to curtail my friendships…that i think i’ve forgotten how to let things take a natural course… to develop slowly.
so i make myself stop, breathe, withdraw from the situation and remember that not everything needs to be pushed, that four years is a long time, that instant gratification isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. if i’m not always meeting someone new or if i’m spending an evening in my room, writing, reading and getting some sleep, it’s okay. fun isn’t something i’m chasing. . .i’m not in a rapidly moving race in which rest, relaxation and periods of gestation rather than forced cultivation should be regarded as irreconciable with progress.
happiness isn’t something i want to chase, but find. sometimes we just need to let things happen on their own. because finally, for once, there’s plenty of time.