missing someone gets easier every day, because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you’ll see them again. . .

i am so used to telling people that i miss them or that i will see them soon that at times it seems like it has become second nature to me. i exist in a constant state of missing other people – but even then, i always assume that this sense of disconnect is only temporary. it seems unfathomable that my friends and i will always be this far apart, that we will never have a chance. yet, even as i think that, i realize how irrational it is to believe that. these are our lives that we are living, and we will continue to live them, no nearer to one another than we have ever been. they will always just be voices on the other end of the phone, and never the people i build my life around — my life’s major moments will pass by unobserved by them. but, what’s one to do with such a truth? if i cease to believe we will one day have our chance . . . there is no reason to maintain the connection. so i suppose i’ll just keep signing letters – see you soon . . . perpetuating the untruth that eventually we will meet again.